Positive Discipline
Discipline does not mean punishment. It means helping a child learn self-control. As a caregiver, your role is to set fair and clear limits in a positive way, helping the child learn how to control her OWN behavior and set her OWN limits. You can respond more quickly and effectively when children need guidance if you understand the reasons for their behavior and know your options for dealing with it.
Here are some tips that will help you get your message across:
TIP 1: Have realistic expectations. Young children, by nature, are egocentric and its perfectly normal to want to have things their way, right away.
Tip 2: Focus on the deed, not the doer. Focus on the situation rather than labeling the child.
Tip 3: Choose your battles. Remember it is natural and healthy for a child to asserts his own will. Sometimes it’s helpful to ask yourself how important this issue is. If he refuses to take off his superhero T-shirt, you may decide its Ok for him to sleep in it.
Tip 4: Praise a child’s good behavior. Everyone learns more from being praised than being criticized.
Tip 5: Be flexible. Make small concessions especially when a child is tired or hungry.
Tip 6: Offer choices rather than giving commands. Give the child some control by giving a couple of options.
Tip 7: Be positive and watch your tone of voice. It is not enough to tell the child what he can’t do. Let him know what he CAN do in a kind voice.
Tip 8: Keep the rules short and simple. Do not make general orders (like “be good”), try to be specific (”I need quiet when I am driving so I can concentrate. Use your quiet voice.”)
Tip 9: Avoid threats and comparisons.
Tip 10: Acknowledge the child’s feelings while addressing the behavior: “Justin, you’re really angry that your sister does not know the rules, but it is not OK to hit her”
Tip 11: Set an example. You are a role model for the child. If you don’t want the child to swear, don’t do so yourself. If the child is pulling the cat’s tail, show her how to pat the cat gently.
Tip 12 : Communicate your own feelings. Let a child know how his behavior affects you.
